widening circles

first things first. THANK YOU so so so so much for all your comments/e-mails/texts/phone calls regarding my PPD post. whoa, i knew it was intense and that even my closest friends didn't know some of those details, but i never expected such a response. you guys are amazing. i am so happy that some of you chose to email me about your own struggles with depression and anxiety and i hope you know that i am always available to talk. mothers need other mothers. period.

when i was in the middle of ppd i remembered a poem that i had heard a few years ago. the first time i heard it, ben and i were driving up the shore to check out the fall colors. we were listening to npr's "on being" (then called speaking of faith) with krista tippett. she was interviewing philosopher and author, joanna macy, on the poet rilke. one of the poems they discussed was widening circles. ben and i were so struck by it we immediately looked it up when we got home. it was such a perfect poem and its always resonated with me since our fall drive.

it wasn't until i was in the midst of anguish and sadness that i remembered it. i started saying it over and over and then reading about it. it came to me at the perfect time. it made me feel like there was purpose to all of this. i came across this blog post and i suggest you reading it. it summed it up so well. anyway, i wanted to share it with all of you:

I live my life in widening circles

that reach out across the world.

I may not complete this last one

but I give myself to it.

I circle around God, around the primordial tower.

I've been circling for thousands of years

and I still don't know: am I a falcon,

a storm, or a great song?

for new years ben surprised me with the book a year with rilke. i absolutely LOVE it. i look forward to reading the daily poem each night. i recommend picking up a copy for yourself. you won't be disappointed.